Sep 112011

Another IKEA Nightmare

This was yet another interesting ‘IKEA Nightmare’ post we found from another blog site. We make no claims over authoring, and we unfortunately don’t know who the author is/was. If he/she does spot this and come forward we are happy to make the correct acknowledgement. Note that some words have been slightly altered to protect the innocent!!! Bear in mind the Author is undoubtedly a non English speaker, however his English is pretty good.

For our readers, it is a salutary lesson in what can happen, even here in easygoing Spain…

The story so far…

I never liked IKEA too much. I love their furniture, but I truly hate going there. For instance, I always get lost and for some reason I tend to start the “indicated way” on the opposite direction (you know my unconcious leeds me towards no easy life).

IKEA makes me dizzy and once I´m there I never quite manage to find all I´m looking for but, add some more non-relevant stuff to the bags. These guys distribute all their products so you have to go through the entire shop, get dizzy and spend 2 hours to look for those nice shoes shelves you saw on their catalogue last week. The bar is always at the beginning not to welcome you with some nice and tasty Swedish cake, but to make you go backwards to the beginning when you get badly dizzy and feel like sitting down for a few minutes. You must gather new energies, cos the whole f——g shop stands *again* betweeen you and the exit.

Despite these several things can become irritating, I´d had welcome them last saturday. Here comes the story: IKEA, my nightmare. Is it possible that more things happen to p–s the hell out of you?? YES.

I woke up late on saturday. I had my alarm clock on friday at 4:00 am and arrived back home at 1 am the following day, so I decided I deserved a nice lay-in. Then I decided to go to IKEA to get the rest of my furniture and as I work, it could only be done that day …

I had check the trains to Godorf (outskirts of Cologne) and the local bus connection to IKEA. My flatmate had told me that the underground 16 reached Godorf. I had look the connection from Cologne but obviously a straight train was quicker. I arrived in the station and start looking for the maps and funny, there was no connection to Godorf in any line. To go on sure I decided to move to Cologne first and follow the routes I have searched myself

The underground 16 connects cologne and bonn and yes, stops in Godorf; but for which reason should Bonn´s local transport office add this stop to the route map???

I took the 16 but most unfortunatelly we had to change trains at the station before Godorf, which meant 15 min more delay for me. When I finally (and rather p—-d off) arrived in Godorf, I felt so lucky … the bus was right at the door!! I´d not have to wait and was just 10 min away from my beloved desktop chair XD

The bus took me around the little village of Godorf, which looks exactly like a deserted beach settlement in winter.Suddenly, in the middle of a little street with a little church and a closed bar the bus stopped and everyone got off. They all seemed to know where they were and had a sensible reason to be in the middle of nowhere. I however looked weird and ask the bus driver: “What about IKEA?” “Is it around here??” The driver then said “No sorry, we don´t drive to ikea from 3pm, get off and wait for the bus back to the station and then you´ll have to walk to IKEA yourself”. Makes sense, doesn´t it? After all people have better things to do on a saturday evening than going to IKEA

I can´t possibly described how p—-d off I was at this point. Moreover I checked the timetable and I was meant to wait for 25 long minutes for the next bus, which I guessed was the same one. I didn´t know where I was, I already had 1 hour delay and IKEA was closing in 2.5 hours. I didn´t have a clue on how to walk there and there was no one around. Then I saw a man who was working in his garden and asked for the number of a taxi. Problem solved would you say, wouldn´t you?? Actually not, that f—–g tag had only just began.

The taxi came 10 min later and stopped right in the middle of the street. It was strange to me, but then again we all know that there´re no rules in the middle of nowhere hehehe. So I crossed the road and entered the car. Then another car arrived and while I was half getting inside the taxi, the stupid tax driver shouted “why are you getting in?? Can´t you see I´m in the middle of the street??” And then, so p—-d off as I was I shouted back “Why the hell did you stopped in the middle of the street then??” I was very angry at that point of the day. He further p—-d me off when I asked him how much it would be and he replied that there was no need to ask, where we just going to IKEA, not Cologne and therefore it should not be too expensive.

After swearing after his whole family I finally got to IKEA!! Great!! Target Managed!! hehehehe …. I started the “walk” and went mad early with all the stuff in there. And after 15 min I realised it was the first time I bought in IKEA and I didn´t know how it worked and all was in german, and … chaos, in one word. I managed to find an employee who literally said that “there were things I could pick up directly and others that had to be taken later on” So helpfull, thanks I thought, but I worked things out. So I started my search for my “targets”. I went mad, the wall shelves were impossible to find, it took me an hour to get to the ground floor. 30 min to close …. I realised I had a lot of notes of things that were supposed to be there …. I had to run!! I found the bed stuff allright and even managed to buy a candle and the iron table, but I got messed up with the curtains … 15 min to leave! SoI runned to the bed stuff and got the duvet and then arrived in the misterious Möbel-SB to search for the book stands and the chair I had selected … 5 min to close .. I did it! arrived at the cashier in time! However ….. they didn´t take VISA!!!!!!! How on earth can IKEA not take VISA or mastercard?!

The lady was very nice, she waited until I went to the cash machine. After paying I looked for the home service people. IKEA was long closed but there were a few customers still paying. When I found the guys I had another unpleasant surprise …. they only delivered furniture!! All the rest of the stuff would have to leave IKEA with me … It´d have been nice to add it on a note in the website, wouldn´t it? But let´s face it, everyone who comes to IKEA drives a car.

I went mad at the guys. I said It was just too much: first the card, then the delivery fiasco. I wanted to leave a complaint. At the end we agreed that I would take the small things and they would bring me the rest, but it had to be done X day at ZZ hour. “If you work is not my problem” they said, “it´s the only possibility. If you won´t be home take the furniture with you”. Nice, isn´t it?

Obviously I had to agree, I had no alternative. I thought that at least It was over and I was going back home hehehehe. I called a taxi and explicity told the lady if the taxi could come to the entrace instead of waiting outside. The taxi didn´t come, it was dark and the last customers were leaving, … what would I do? Hitchhiking I thought. I asked a couple who had just finnished work and they said “I´m sorry I don´t take customers in the car”. As if he had a great work …!

So I was left there. I didn´t know what to do. 22:00 and in the middle of nowhere. there was even a chance I had lost the last connection to Bonn. At that moment the security guy pointed a taxi long in the distance …. It had been waiting for 10 min already. Aparently the stupid lady had not told him to come inside to the entrace. I runed for it. I needed that taxi.

When I got it I thought it was over. Finally … hehehehe. Wrong again! When I asked the taxi driver to leave me in Godorf Station his answer was: “There´s not such thing” to which I answered “Yes there is, I arrived there before”. Then he asked me where it was and I said I didn´t know the way and he blamed me for not knowing. Can you actually believe that?! I said
“the taxi driver it´s you, I´m not supposed to know it”. At the end he got me to the next village´s station, waited for 15 min and got the last train connection to Bonn while in the meantime of course, I was carrying a huge bag with all the little stuff from IKEA …

what a f—–g day!!!!!


Oh yes, this is a true IKEA Nightmare, one that can be avoided of course…call us to find out how!


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